(What the hell? Enter: My 86 year old grandma)
Me: Oh hai, Grandma.
Grandma: It's 4 in the afternoon, why are you still in your pajamas?
Me: Because I was up all night writing?
Grandma: What? What were you writing?
Me: My book, Grandma. Come in.
Grandma: Ohhh..your "book". You know, I wrote a book about genealogy once. I could edit it for you.
Me: I don't think you'd like it. It's not your type. (Since you are adamant about how sex and demons are evil and all)
Grandma: You know, you should get a real job as a substitute teacher.
Me: We are fine, Grandma.
Grandma: Well, if you just came to church, those people would buy your book just to support you.
Me: I don't think they would like it.
Grandma: It's not one of those trash books is it?
Me: No, it's not trash.
Grandma: Well, I could edit it for you.
Me: That's okay, really.
Grandma: What did you say it was about again?
Me: It's an multidimensional love story about a girl who...
Grandma: You know...you would feel better if you slept when normal people do.
Grandma: I just came to check (up) on you, did you know that there are 10 soda cans on your end table?
Grandma: Okay, see you tomorrow.
Me: What's tomorrow?
Grandma: We can start editing your book.
Me: What? No, it's not done.
(Bangs head on door)